Home > Pre-aliya > Sold!

Sold!

We sold our home today.  I am now officially unemployed and homeless.  With credentials like that, you’d think I could make a few extra bucks getting paid and bused by the Democrat Party to a few polling places this coming election. Fortunately for me, I do not have to suffer this sort of temptation.  My vote from overseas probably won’t get counted anyway.  But I digress….

The sale went very smoothly.  Yep — smooth.  The only glitch was the water pouring into the basement because the first-floor bathtub overflow was not fixed properly.  In fairness, the problem was partially fixed; I think some of the water drained properly.  My guess is that at least 50% of the water entering the overflow didn’t end up on the basement floor. That would have been okay, I suppose, if we had waited until the tub filled completely and then checked down stairs right away. Instead, the overflow was being tested for 10 or 15 minutes while the agents talked and we looked at other “more important” things.  At least the overflow wasn’t plugged up!

Anyway, the overflow was (improperly) fixed a couple of weeks ago.  I guess the job was so simple, so obvious, and so easy, that the plumber didn’t bother to test it. Likewise, I was so certain that it was fixed, that I also didn’t bother to test it.  The buyer’s agent didn’t know any better, so he tested it with the buyer during the walk-through prior to the closing.  This problem, however, was really a non-issue.  The plumber guarantees his work for 5 years and the guarantee is transferable to the new buyer.  Some time this week the work should be completed (again) and tested and that should basically be the last house hurdle that we’ll have in this hemisphere.

There was an interesting twist regarding the realtors.  It took us ten months and two realtors to sell the house. We used the first realtor for seven months.  There were plenty of showings, but no offers.  Our new realtor had a conflict on settlement day, so she was unable to be with us at the closing.  Instead, she sent a substitute realtor from her office to represent us.  The substitute was awesome and that worked out fine.  The buyer’s agent, however, was none other than our original agent, so we have a bit of (mostly friendly) history with him.  Given that scenario, I imagine things could easily become…awkward.  Thankfully, that didn’t really happen.  There was only one awkward moment.

After all the documents were signed and we were all just talking about whatever, the buyer’s agent suddenly gets really excited and states, “I’ve got a really good Jewish joke.” Red lights start flashing in my head: DANGER, DANGER.  But the buyer’s agent is also Jewish, so how bad could it be?

He tells his joke:

Two Jewish men go into a bar,… [pause] It could happen!

There’s an awkward pause while everyone waits a few moments until it is obvious that that was the joke in its entirety.  Then there was some light, polite chuckling while everyone but my wife looks around to see if someone else actually understood it.  My wife doesn’t laugh or chuckle; she just says, “Okay,…your point?”  His response is, “That’s it!” with a big grin on is face.  At that moment, he has the realization that no one understood his so-called joke, so he then tries to explain it.

Jokes are never funny when they are explained, so this one was sort of fresh and inventive because it also wasn’t funny before it was explained.  The explanation had something to do with Jewish men not drinking alcohol, or maybe not going to bars, or maybe not going to bars together, or maybe they were only pretending to be Jewish.  I don’t know.   I don’t think any of us could really figure it out, even though it was explained and justified several times.  Maybe it was supposed to be a joke about two Quakers or Mormons  or something.  Believe me, I know plenty of Jewish men who can drink alcohol and who go to bars with friends.

Anyway, my guess is that in about a month, I’m going to start hearing plenty of jokes that I don’t understand or find funny.  Jokes are never funny when they are explained; even less funny are jokes that are translated.

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